JOY LIST

Hello and welcome back!  One of my favorite exercises to do (and refer to others) this time of year is to update my JOY list. First, I want to share a few things I’ve learned over the years about experiencing joy.

In Brenè Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, (a must read) she talks about foreboding joy.  Foreboding joy is a defense mechanism, a holding back of allowing oneself from experiencing joy out of fear of vulnerability.  Maybe you’ve found yourself here before, thinking things like--if I lean in and let my guard down then I won’t be ready for the hard stuff.  Instead of experiencing a moment that feels too good to be true, you give energy and attention to waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Brenè refers to this as dress rehearsing tragedy.  I began noticing how easy foreboding joy was and when I'd find myself doing it, fear was always on the other side.  The lie is that we believe somehow by withholding joy we will be safer or “more ready” to experience pain.  I share all of this because as humans, there’s a part of our brain looking to keep ourselves safe.  We need to bravely practice joy to experience more of it!

5 Truths I've Learned About J-O-Y:

Joy is an active practice.  Joy doesn’t just show-up, it’s cultivated.  We create it, infuse it into our days.

What brings us joy in this season might be different than it was a month, a year, a decade ago, we need to keep returning to the practice!

Joy can be found in the big and little places in life. The little things that bring us joy are often more accessible and just as powerful!

Joy is contagious.  Our mind will continue looking for joy throughout the day once we experience it.

Experiencing joy is our job and will grow in the right environment.  We can’t depend on something or someone else to experience joy.  It's our work to craft a life where joy lives--to acknowledge the impact of a joyful moment by staying present in it, sharing it with someone you love.

I invite you to make a Joy List. The joy I’m talking about today is not nostalgic joy of the past or anticipatory joy of something in the future.  But rather a simple joy you can experience in the present—this is where your Joy list comes in.   

Answer for yourself:

Deep or ridiculous, what brings me joy?

What can I reach for, connect to, schedule into my day(s) that feels like joy right now?

How will I prioritize time and energy to experience more joy and what’s the consequence if I don’t? 

Whether it’s curling up with a good book by the fire or enjoying a quiet moment of alone time, invite your version of joy into existence.  I heard someone say something yesterday that’s still resonating with me—it’s not that we invite darkness in but rather block the light out. This week, reach for joy, it belongs to you!  Stay open, brave, and curious.