WHY YOUR STUCKNESS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A GOOD SIGN

Have you ever found yourself right on the edge of achieving something important, only to mysteriously pull back at the last moment? Or perhaps you've set an ambitious goal, only to find yourself procrastinating, getting distracted, or suddenly feeling overwhelmed by anxiety?

I spent years thinking I just lacked discipline or willpower. But what I've come to understand is far more fascinating–what we call "self-sabotage" is often our nervous system trying to protect us in the only way it knows how.

Five years ago, I was preparing to record and launch my first ever podcast. I had dreamed of creating a podcast for years. Yet as the date approached, I found myself procrastinating on finalizing my outline, waking in the middle of the night with "one more idea" to add, and tirelessly researching to triple check I had the best equipment to do the job. 

Why am I doing this to myself? I want this. I've prepared for this. Why am I getting in my own way?

It was like an invisible wall standing between me and hitting publish on my first podcast episode. What I didn't understand then was that my Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) – the part of me responsible for fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses – was detecting danger. Not the danger of physical harm, but the vulnerability, judgment, and discomfort that come with growth and trying something new.

Your ANS is the ultimate security guard and has one primary job–keeping you safe. It doesn't care about your dreams, your goals, or what you think you "should" be doing. It cares about what has kept you alive so far. And what's kept you alive? Familiarity. The status quo–the devil you know.

When we push toward something new – even something we consciously want – our nervous system often hits the brakes. It's not because we're weak or flawed. It's because stepping into the unknown represents a threat to the system that's been successfully keeping us alive.

Your conscious mind might be saying– "I want that job promotion" or “I want to start that business” or "I'm ready for a meaningful relationship,"… (fill in the blank) but your ANS is subcortical – a fancy way of saying it doesn't understand language or rational arguments. It responds to experience, not thoughts.

 So how do you know when you’ve approached the edge of your comfort zone? Your ANS might:

✨Trigger anxiety to make you retreat to safety

✨Create exhaustion so you "can't possibly" take that next step

✨Generate brain fog when you try to work on your goal

✨Amplify imposter syndrome just when you need confidence most

There’s nothing wrong with you! These reactions aren't character flaws – they're protective mechanisms. Your ANS isn't trying to hurt you; it's trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.

Here's a perspective shift that changed everything for me: 

What if feeling stuck, resistant, or afraid is actually a good sign? A sign that you're approaching something significant.

 That invisible wall you keep hitting might be showing you exactly where your growth edge lies. The resistance isn't telling you to stop – it's showing you where to go deeper.

 When I finally recognized my podcast anxiety as my nervous system trying to protect me from potential judgment, I stopped fighting against myself. Instead of seeing my anxiety as proof that I wasn't ready, I began to see it as evidence that I was doing something that mattered to me. The breakthrough comes when we stop trying to override our nervous system and start working with it instead. 

 Here's 4 ways to start:

1. Trust Your Own Rhythm. Your ANS has its own timeline for growth that might not match the pace your thinking mind wants to set. When we push too hard, our nervous system pushes back harder.

I found that breaking my podcast launch into smaller, manageable chunks helped my nervous system adjust gradually, without triggering the full alarm response. Each small step completed built evidence for my nervous system that this new territory was survivable.

 2. Befriend Your Nervous System.  Instead of being frustrated by your body's responses, get curious about them. When you feel resistance, ask: "What is my nervous system trying to protect me from here?"

For me, journaling about my podcasting fears revealed that I was terrified of public judgement and not getting it exactly right. Once I named those fears, I could work specifically with them.

 3. Take Tolerable Steps. The key word here is "tolerable" – steps that stretch you but don't break you. A tolerable step might not feel good, but you can complete it. It's about expanding your comfort zone incrementally, not demolishing it overnight.

To speed up the process? Find your community, find your people. Connect with people who see you, understand you, and believe in your deepest desires. Our nervous systems co-regulate with others – meaning the right supportive environment can help you go places you couldn't go alone!

 4. Honor Your No. Your resistance isn't your enemy – it's information. When your ANS says "no," listen to it. Sometimes the path forward isn't about pushing through but about finding a different route that honors your nervous system's deeper wisdom.

Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) needs to feel safe before it can venture into new territory. That’s why it’s important to create what polyvagal theory calls "ventral vagal states"—moments where you feel connected, calm, and secure—both before and after challenging yourself.

 Before recording each podcast episode, I started spending five minutes meditating and prioritizing connection with my inner circle of girlfriends—the ones who not only believed in what I was creating but were actively cheering me on. After each episode, I’d take a few minutes to fully feel the emotions of accomplishment, reminding my nervous system that I had not only survived the challenge but thrived in it. These simple practices helped rewire my system to understand that while hitting record might feel terrifying, I wasn’t in danger. In fact, I was experiencing the exhilaration of sharing something meaningful with the world!

 The thing that changed everything for me was this: Self-sabotage isn't a sign of weakness – it's a sign that your body is trying to protect you. When we honor and work with these protective impulses rather than fighting against them, we find a more sustainable path forward.

Now when I feel that resistance, I don't immediately push through it or feel ashamed of it. I get curious. I slow down. I create safety. And paradoxically, by going slower, I actually move toward what I want more effectively.

What invisible walls are you encountering on your journey? How might your nervous system be trying to protect you? You’re not alone, my friend. And I’m cheering you on, big time. As always, stay open, brave, and on-purpose.